Feeling Guilty? How to Stop?

June 11, 2020

What if you did something and now feel sorry for it. Or you didn't perform as expected from you. How to stop feeling guilty? How should you feel?


Maybe you didn't have enough of the information, courage, or whatever might be the reason for doing as you did. If you take a good look at your act back from the future, perhaps it's not a mistake, after all. Time will tell.

But right now, you are being judged about it, by yourself and by others. Your thoughts are paralyzing you, and you don't know how to feel. Your mood varies from embarrassment, across emptiness to relaxation. What is true?

All of these states are. You have to go through it, and for some period, you will circle across these shapes. It is ok to let yourself dive in some mourn cycle. But not for too long. Eventually, you wish to have some conscious thinking about it.

As always, you have a choice. You had a choice when you were about to do what you did. And you have the choice now as well. Maybe you are guilty as charged. Perhaps you did make a mistake. In some cases, you can return a step or two if you feel it was a wrong move. In other cases, you don't have such a possibility. 

The last thing you should do now is to blame yourself. It will help if you don't look back with an impression of you as bad for doing what you did. The revision of your decisions is proof that you care. An evil person would not do that. Moreover, by feeling guilty, you succumb to the power of others who are judging you. It weakens you.

What is a better choice is to admit the responsibility for your actions to yourself and move on. Make a piece with who you are. Look it in the eyes.

Now, when you have admitted it to yourself, what can be your next shift? Do you want to share it with someone else?

You don't have to admit anything necessarily to the ones finding you guilty. It is wiser to confess to close people you know will support you: your spouse, or your friend; your parent, a relative. You will get a sense of relief by doing it so. You can always talk to other, less supportive characters later when you are ready.

Now, the next phase is going to demand even more courage from you. But don't be afraid. It will fill you with a sense of greatness once you do so. Here it comes.

It would be best if you are grateful for all these misfortunate situations that have happened to you. Think of it as an integral part of your growth path.

Right now is the moment when you pause and comprehend it. Can you feel the appreciation for something you know that didn't turn out well? You don't have to believe in this method to try it out. Take it for granted and do it. It can not cause any damage.

Now, say it loud, like you are talking to a friend. Say how grateful you are for this learning opportunity, how you see it as a tremendous source of wisdom for the similar or even more difficult life circumstances in front of you.

Another approach that you can try out. Realize that all there is - is now. This moment. Not past, not the future, just now. How do you feel at this moment alone, not surrounded by those who are judging you? Is there anything that is missing at this moment? Is there anything or anyone that endangers you at this moment? Don't think of whatever is coming even one second ahead. Feel the presence — all that exists is now.

You can not change the past. Feeling guilty and embarrassed about it will not help anyone, you the least. Comprehend that you are in charge of your feelings and your future actions. Go beyond what you think is possible. State the appreciation for the learning opportunity you have got. Make this moment right now an infinite healing space for you. Let it last as long as you need it. It's a starting point for your next move enriched by the experience.

Your past is your advisor, not the torturer.

About kristijan galekovic

I'm the founder of ClickIntoLife, a father, a husband, and a nature lover. I'm keen to share my experience and knowledge. I like to read and hike, where I may take a bunch of kids with me. With ClickIntoLife, I want to help you fit better into life and feel comfortable in your skin. Read more about me here.

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